This morning I read the recent TIM News about Titpig getting a star in Palm Springs to honor him for all the years of service helping others.
Quite frankly he deserves it for being a positive out role model. Within the article I read the following and I was immediately brought back to that time of "standards".

...His work was instrumental in broadening inclusivity and promoting body positivity for gay men, particularly those who didn’t conform to traditional industry standards...

Those traditional industry standards were toxic. I remember going to the White Party in Palm Springs in the late 90's and witnessing guys being divided and turned away at "private" party events. 1/2 of a group allowed into the party the other half told they did not make the cut based on how they looked. And when I saw that myself I told the people I was with there was no F'ing way I was going in or I'd get into a fight. Who did they think they were deciding who gets in and who does not.

A couple of years later I would move to San Francisco. There a roommate of mine had moved from Pittsburgh, PA to S.F. One day we went to one of the S.F. beaches and while talking about a lot of different things he said to me..."I wish I was a Circuit Boy like you." I was confused and at a los for words. I asked why he thought that and he said because I was tight and muscular compared to his bear size which he hated.

I asked him to never ever again put me in a bucket with Circuit Boys, who I had witnessed excluding people in Palm Springs based on looks. And then I tried to tell him that there were way more guys out there who loved the variety of men to meet and have sex with than there were the type of guys who only had sex mirror images of themselves, which were those traditional community and industry standards of a guy.

Titpig did help break down those old misguided standards, but as the subject line says did he know the pendulum swung too far in the opposite direction?
Did he see that body shaming, and age shaming, and exclusivity not inclusitivioty had taken over once again?
Did he see how everyone normalized the word Preference when referring to human beings and letting everyone know some are preferred and some are not preferred. There's a saying that says...Don't write down what you would not say outlaid publicly.
Example: Would you walk into a bar and each time you did you shouted....Hello. Excuse me. I'm here to meet someone and these are my preferencess of who I'm looking for.
I guarantee you'd be hated. And yet everyone allows preferences to be written out for everyone to see who's included and who will not be included.

Titpig did open the door and brought through it all kinds of men. Unfortunately all those men forgot how exclusions feel as they know decide who's included or excluded because the person does not look like themselves. And that negates Titpig's work for not conforming to how someone looks and making that a standard.

RIP Titpig. I hope someone like you comes along again to pull the pendulum back to center and not all the way to the opposite side again.